and whatsoever else shall hap to-night, give it an understanding but no tongue

i cannot fathom how i ever before permitted myself to abide loneliness.

my only companions before this were those i sought from clubs and shops, those who i could bring to my home for a night at best.  just enough to keep away the cold.

but now, now i have an ally.  a friend.  one who knows what i am pursued by.  it is a wondrous feeling, and i shan't give it up if i have any say in the matter.

that said, i saw the beast again today, on a trip to gather some ice.  it stared at me, disapproval obvious.  i froze in its gaze, terrified, for several minutes, before it vanished.  long enough for my companion to come looking for me.

i regret to say i broke down and sobbed when she found me.  i told her the beast was here, its judging eyes upon me.

what great injustice does it know of?  what tale of death and tragedy does it know that we do not?

why can it not let us live in what limited peace we have found?